Fight or Flight
by panemsbest
Summary: *spin off from favorite5's Intoxicated Love* Josh is in a Faction she knows she doesn't belong in. Knowing where she belongs, now she has to choose. Now she has to beat initiation. Now she has to keep a secret, even though she was brought up being told never to keep them. Now she has to deal with boys and bitchy girls. Now she has to decide Fight or Flight.
1. Chapter 1

Breathe.

In. Out. In. Out.

Breathe.

In. Out. In. Ou-

"Josh, you okay?"

I open my eyes and look at my two best friends, Charlotte and Burry, sitting opposite me.

Charlotte has beautiful blonde curls that fall around her face, framing her eyes. The blue stands out from her black Dauntless clothes, and her hair makes her stand out from the rest of the Dauntless kids in the room. She gives me a perfect smile and Burry blows a bubble in her gum. Burry is from Amity, she's small with auburn hair and piercing green eyes. Her yellow top looks too large on her tiny frame, and falls over her like a dress, but is short enough for her to wear red leggings underneath. Both may be small but they're extremely strong.

Josh. That's me. This may also sound strange, but I'm a girl. I have just past shoulder length, dull, blonde hair, blue grey eyes and boring black and white Candor clothing. I'm tall, bordering too tall. I mean, when both of your best friends are less than 5"4, being 5"9 can make you stand out a little. I've always been teased and picked on by the other girls. Charlie says it's because they're jealous of my 'beauty' but I know that's a load of rubbish. They pick on me because I'm an easy target. I'll show them soon though…

When Burry and I first met in school, we discovered that we share the same first name, Lauren. But after a while of getting confused of who people are talking to, we decided to come up with nicknames. We call her Burry because as a young child, I had difficulty spelling. I went to call her a strawberry, because of her bright red clothes clashing with her ginger hair, but misspelt it, and thus, Burry was born. I'm not sure why they call me Josh, I guess it just suits me… it might also have to do with the fact I spilt chocolate milk all over this boy I had a crush on in 3rd grade, who's name, coincidently, was Josh.

When Charlotte arrived a year later, we decided to befriend her. I mean, a Candor and an Amity being friends was strange enough, why not push our luck and make friends with a Dauntless? We started calling her Charlie on the basis we though all needed nicknames. We've stuck together ever since. We've got other friends, mainly people from Dauntless we've met through Charlie, but it's always been the three of us. The Three Musketeers, or at least that's what Charlie said we were. I think it was a book she read. Charlie loves to read, she's lent me so many books, and I wonder where she gets them all from.

I give them a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous."

"Don't worry about it, it's only the aptitude test," Charlie says, kicking her legs up on the table and leaning back in her chair. Burry glances at her and a wicked grin spreads across her face.

"Eye spy with my little eye, a hickey on your neck, Miss Eaton. Where were you last night?"

Charlie's eyes widen and her hand quickly goes to her neck. "Are you kidding me?!"

Burry and I laugh as Charlie's nostrils flare. She looks around the room. Her eyes set on one boy, dark haired, wide eyed, playing cards with the other Dauntless guys. He makes eye contact with her and gives her a small wave.

"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, LUCAS!" He drops his hand and looks at her hurt, but once she points to her neck a smile creeps onto his lips and he starts laughing. She turns around with a huff, Burry and I looking at her with raised eyebrows. "It was our anniversary, okay? Give me a break, we just had a sleepover."

"What did you do? Have a pillow fight?" I tease. Charlie picks up a pea from her lunch tray and throws it at my head and I laugh

"I know we're not supposed to tell people what we got in our tests, but are we going to tell each other?" I ask after a moment of quiet. It's been nagging on my mind all day. I want to tell them what I get but I only will if they'll tell me.

"What? You think I'd tell Lucas, but not my girls what I got? Hell no. We'll tell each other when we get to initiation, yeah?" says Charlie with a cheeky smile. This was our plan. Charlie is Dauntless through and through. Burry and I might struggle, but we know that's where we belong.

Our conversation dies and my head starts to drift again. I think about the test. Over and over. I think about how I want to do something for myself instead of for my family. I think of how I want to stay with Burry and Charlie. I think of what faction I will be most suited for. I think of-

"Josh! Josh, you in there?" I blink a couple of times and look around me in a panic. Burry and Charlie are looking at me worried. "What happened? One minute you were here, the next you were of someplace else, and then you started shaking," says Burry.

"Guys," I squeak. "What if… what if we don't get the same faction? What if I don't get Dauntless? What if-"

Burry grabs hands. "Josh, look at us." I'm still looking around the room, my heart rate rising. I can't breathe. _What's happening_? "_Look. At. Me. Josh._" She speaks louder this time, grabbing my attention. "There are no 'what if's, alright?"

"But-"

"No 'but's either," Charlie says with a calming smile. "There only is what there is. And everything is going to be _fine._"

I nod. I believe them. I don't know why, but I do. I always have. They're the only people I trust.

It's now I notice two other faces have joined the table. Two dark haired boys to contrast our light haired ones. Lucas sits beside Charlie, his arm around her waist, and someone is sitting beside me. Nicky is a tall and strong looking, which is strange for an Erudite, and is also one of our closest friends. He's attractive, sure, in some aspects, but not my type. I can see Burry looking at him. His muscles strain against his bright blue shirt and I follow her eyes as they look at his biceps. She glances at me and she's knows she's been caught because her cheek are a flaming red. I look to him for explanation for what they're doing sitting with us and he picks up on it.

"We wanted to see if you were alright. Well, I did. Lucas just wanted to do that." He lifts his finger towards Lucas, whose tongue is currently down Charlie's throat. I look at Burry and we both make gagging sounds but neither of them seems to notice. I lean across the table and slap them both around the sides of the head. They break apart with cocky grins and laugh.

Charlie looks around the cafeteria. "You guys, think about it. This is the last time we're ever going to be here in the cafeteria. In the Hub." She sighs into Lucas' chest. "I'm going to miss this place."

I give a loud snort, causing Burry to laugh. "I'm not. I'm finally getting out of this Hell hole," I say. "I also hope the door hits a lot of people of the way out." Nicky laughs and Burry gives me a high five.

An Abnegation woman walks into the cafeteria followed by some Abnegation men, an Erudite lady, a Candor man and a Dauntless woman. She gives Charlie a wink and Charlie smiles. I don't know why there is an extra non-abnegation volunteer this year but I don't question it.

They stand in a line and call names. "From Erudite, Jason Jones and Nicholas Montague." Nicky mutters under his breath. He hates it when he's called Nicholas. We gave him the name Nicky when we met in Math, I've never seen him smile so bright from behind his glasses. "From Dauntless, Charlotte Eaton and Lucas Brown." Charlie gives Lucas a kiss on the lips and Burry and I roll our eyes playfully. "From Candor, Lauren Peters and Mason Williams." I stand up at the name of Lauren Peters, my real name. "Amity, Felix Chance and Lauren Fourie."

"IT'S PRONOUNCED FU-RIE, NOT FOW-RIE. JESUS CHRIST, GET IT RIGHT!" she yells as she stands up. Many of the Abnegation and Amity gasp at her rudeness, but this is one of the only times she's herself. She's so quiet, with her nose in a book. But if you get her name wrong, you'd better run for the hills. I laugh loudly as she storms ahead of me towards the corridors.

Finally, they call the Abnegation but I don't know any of them.

"Goodbye, Hellhole!" I call as I saunter after Burry. The others follow me and we are each lead into different rooms. Lucas and Charlie share one last kiss before she's taken off into a room by an Abnegation woman and he by an Erudite man.

"Lauren Peters?" the Dauntless woman says. I step forward. "I'm Tori, I'll be administering your test. Just follow me." I walk backwards after her, so I can see Burry.

"See you on the other side!"

She smiles and shakes her head before blowing me a kiss.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter:) As I said, this story is a spin off of Intoxicated Love by (my favourite Divergent author) favorite5 so a lot of things shall be similar (As it's from one of her character's POVs) but things will also have changed. Please please please go and read her stories Divergent Fanfic and Intoxicated Love (preferably in that order) because they're absolutely amazing. **

**(I just want to say, when AJ first wrote about the character Josh it didn't register in my head until she described the way she looked. When I figured out she'd based Josh from me I was so incredibly happy that I screamed and didn't shut up about it for weeks on end. I still talk about it now. So, being said character, I decided to do a story from my POV. I hope that makes sense...**

**If you read Intoxicated Love you'll also notice I've swapped one character for another, there is a reason for this and it adds to the plot later in the story.)**

**Thank you so much and please review :) **


	2. Chapter 2

Tori leads me into a small room at the end of the hall. The walls are mirrored and all can see at four different versions of me. One looks cocky and confident. One looks curious about what the room contains. Another looks calm and ready. And the last is wondering about my friends, looking distracted. But despite what these versions of me look like, all I can think is what is in front of me. The reality of the situation. What is actually going to happen; the truth.

A metal chair that looks like one you would find in a dentist's office, sits in the centre of the room. I've only ever been to the dentists for check-ups but I remember when my sister had to have a tooth pulled out. That whole week it was my responsibility to make sure she had enough icecream, to make sure she was feeling okay, to make sure she wasn't too hot or too cold. I shudder at the memory. She treated me like a slave, yelling what she thought about the crappy job I was doing. In Candor, being honest means saying what you truly feel about someone, and my sister chooses to tell me every day of every week. Just another reason why I feel like I don't belong. I would never just pass someone on the stairs and tell them their hair looks stupid. It's demeaning and mean.

Next to the chair, are another one and a computer with many wires. Tori tells me to sit in the dentist's chair and I do as I'm told. She begins attatching the electrodes to my head and Ican't help myself.

"You're Dauntless," I say, more a statement than a question, but Tori nods. "How come there are more than one non-Abnegation volunteer this year?"

"Someone fell ill and I was in the city so they called me in. You're a little curious for a Candor, aren't you?" She laughs quietly.

"Just Charlie rubbing off on me," I mumble quietly to myself, but Tori must have overheard me.

"Charlie? Charlotte Eaton?" I nod. "She's a good kid."

"You know her?"

"I know her sister-in-law, Tris. She works in my shop sometimes. Her brother, Four, often stops by too. They're all good people."

And even though I've never met Tris or Four, I smile and say, "The best."

Tori hands me a cup and tells me to drink the pink liquid in the cup. I stare at her curiously. "I thought the test was administered through an injection?"

Tori laughs. "I've been administering this test for the past 9 years and not once have I injected anyone."

"Lying bitch," I mutter. Well I suppose it serves me right for listening to Haley Johnson. She is an Erudite and a big bully. I've been afraid of needles ever since I went with my mother to the Doctor to get a shot as a child.

I stare at the cup for a while. This simulation will help me decide my future. There's a large weight that has just been placed on my shoulders. My hands are visibly shaking and I look at Tori. She gives me a small reassuring smile and I take a deep breath, throw my head back and down the serum. It's cool as it slides down my throat. My vision begins to go blurry and I hear Tori's voice saying, "You'll be okay." Darkness takes over. "Just relax."

I open my eyes. I'm back in the cafeteria but this time I'm all alone.

"Pick one," says a cold voice.

"Hello?" I call out. I look around me but I'm still the only person here. Strange.

"Choose," says the voice again. I recognise it. It's female and familiar but I can't seem to place it.

I look down at the table in front of me. On it are two items: a basket of cheese and a knife. Automatically my mind clicks and realises the cheese ill lead to an Amity simulation and the knife will lead to a Dauntless one. Charlie has taught me how to notice things like this, especially during a fight.

My hand reaches towards the knife and as soon as I've touched it the basket disappears and there's a growl behind me. I can't help the smirk that appears on my face and I turn around. Facing me is a large black dog, teeth baring and crouched low. I know you're not supposed to look a dog in the eye when they're like this, because that means you're challenging it, but I can't help it. The anticipation of the danger is so thrilling I feel it in the pit of stomach.

The dog leaps forward and I do the same, adrenaline pumping through my veins. In my sprint, I can see the dog has a scar in its right shoulder, maybe a glitch in the simulation or put there specifically, but I focus on it. When there is only a matter of space between us, the dog jumps, its jaw wide open and ready to lock on whatever it bites. I raise my arms and drive the knife into the scar.

The dog squeals and falls onto my chest, knocking me over, but it's no longer ready to hurt me. Its dying eyes look up at me and I feel tears sting in the back of my eyes. The dog's whimpers make me wince. It's not like I take joy in hurting anyone or anything, but if something is going to attack me, I'm not going down without a fight.

I squeeze my eyes shut and all of a sudden, the warmth of the dog is gone. I open my eyes, confused, when I bounce. I quickly sit up and realise I'm on a bus. _Must be another part of the simulation,_ I realise.

A man, dressed in ruined clothes is sitting on the seat in front of me. He's reading a newspaper. On the paper is a picture of a sinister looking man. There's something in my gut that I don't like about him.

"Do you know this man?" the person asks, tapping the front of the paper.

I don't respond, but I look closer. I do. I know him. I don't know from where but I do.

The man drops the paper to reveal his face. His skin is scarred and burnt and I jump back in surprise. He grips my shoulders tightly. "If you know him you could save me!"

If there's one thing I am not, it is a liar. But I have another horrible feeling that if I help this man, nothing good will come out of it. I take a deep breath, looking him in the eyes.

"I know him. Now unhand me." His grip only gets tighter.

"Are you going to save me?!" he screeches, ignoring me request.

"If you want to keep your balls I suggest you take you filthy hands off me!" I shout back in his face. And then nothing.

He disappeared and I'm back in the mirrored room with Tori looking extremely worried.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" I ask, suddenly anxious.

She begins typing on the computer quickly and I disconnect the electrodes from my head.

"I want you to listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you, okay?" I feel like I shouldn't say anything so I just nod. "Your test results showed you have qualities in several factions. You reached for the knife and fought the dog, which suggests Dauntless. But before you also assessed what each item was practical for and after you also stayed with the dog until it died, which suggested Erudite and Amity. Thankfully, these two factors aren't strong enough for the test to place you in either of these factions. And then on the bus, you told the man the truth, which shows Candor, and confronted him which shows Dauntless again."

"You're just piling on and repeating words, what are you trying to say?" I ask, trying to get to the point.

"The test placed you in Dauntless," – I smile, relieved- "_And_ Candor." My smile quickly fades. "Now, I need you to make sure you don't tell _anyone_ this. It is a very dangerous thing." My stomach drops and I think I know what she's trying to say, but I can't tear my eyes away from her face. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "You are Divergent."

"Shit."

* * *

**Hey there:) **

**This hasn't been proofread yet so like Friday Night Dinner, if you find any mistakes please point them out and I'll fix them tomorrow:)  
Please review and tell me what you think. I have a pretty good idea of what the next chapter will be so hopefully that will be up soon.**

**CATCHING FIRE TRAILER TOMORROW OMFG I CAN'T EVEN I JUST FEELS **


	3. Chapter 3

My mother used to tell me stories of the Divergent. She'd say they were dangerous. That they interfered with the way life here worked. How the world worked. She said that the world is an oiled machine, working away. But the Divergent are rust. They stop the world from working properly, the way it's supposed to.

That's what I am.

I am rust in the world's oiled machine.

"It is important that you do not tell _anyone_ your results."

_Do you not think I know that? If I tell, it could result in my death, and I like living thank you very much!_

"You have a lot to think about."

_No shit, lady. It's not like I'm going to go home and spend my time thinking about boys or… whatever normal girls my age think about…_

"Tomorrow," Tori says, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Choose wisely. Your choice could be a matter of life and death." I nod. I hadn't actually realised how much I'm shaking. "I'll walk you out. You look…"

She doesn't have to finish the sentence for me to know. I look like awful. I felt myself go cold as soon as she'd said the words and I'm pretty sure I'm as pale as a ghost right now.

* * *

I took the bus home and I've been sitting outside my house for the past two hours, too scared to step inside.

_I'm Divergent._

I can't believe this is happening to me. I trained so hard. I was so sure I was Dauntless, through and through. Or at least, that's what I've always told myself. I never considered the fact that although I love the adrenaline of danger; I refuse to be called a liar. I've never lied.

A car pulls up out front and the engine cuts out. Now I have to go inside.

My father steps out of the car, eying me curiously.

"Why aren't you inside, honey?"

I put on a fake smile. "Just waiting for you, is all." Not a lie. I_ was_ waiting for him to come home, because when he did, it meant I'd have to go inside and face my family. _Yay._

We sit around the dining room table, eating a meal of chicken and potatoes. My sister's favourite. My sister, Si**â**n, chose Candor two years ago. She's a natural truth teller, no ifs, buts or maybes. If she hates you, she'll tell you up front. She's also very beautiful. Her mousy brown hair falls to her lower back and her eyelashes are longer than most. I've always been the runt of the family. They're all so attractive… and then there's me: the blonde haired, lanky child who doesn't want to stay with her own family.

They all talk about their day. I may as well not be here. Father and Mother talk about the court cases. They're both judges at the courts here in Candor.

Siân tells us about the new clerk from last year's initiates that just started working at her firm. She's a lawyer. Just another reason to make our parents proud.

I don't say anything. I just watch. Listen. I know all their tells. When my sister is about to say something, she'll purse her lips. When my father is finished with discussion, he raises his eyebrows. And when mother wants something, she licks the right corner of her mouth. These are just small things I've picked up. Things that Charlie has taught me to look out for.

My mother looks over at me. Her tongue goes to the right corner of her mouth.

"Lauren, could you please clear away the plates?"

I look down at mine, which still has half a chicken breast and some potatoes. "But I'm not finished."

"Darling," my mother says in a more warning tone than before. She gives me a hard look and I let out a sharp breath, pushing back my chair and angrily collecting the plates. Siânlooks at me with a smirk. _Bitch._

I walk into the kitchen and clatter the plates on purpose. It's a pet peeve of my mother's. I hear her sigh and I smile, a little triumphant.

But not as triumphant as I'd like to be. I'm still torn over what to do. Do I stay, or do I go? Do I do what I've been dreaming of for the past few years of my life, or do I play it safe and do what I know I'm good at.

_I'm Divergent._

And that's all I know at this point.

"Lauren, can you please join us in the living room?" says my father, suddenly appearing at the door. I jump, clattering the plates a little more before nodding. He disappears again.

I follow the sounds of his footsteps into our black and white living room, in our black and white house, in our black and white world. The Candor's colours are black and white because that's how we see things. No colours of grey in between. Just the truth and what it is. And right now, me? I might as well be a big red streak through that black and white.

"Now, we know that you're not supposed to tell us what happened during your aptitude test," say my mother with her lip gloss smile.

"Yeah, we're supposed to keep our results to ourselves," I mumble, confused.

"We understand that, _but_ you _can _tell us what faction you're going to choose," Siân says.

I don't know how to answer. They all look at me so proudly and it makes me sick. It makes me sick that they assume I'm staying somewhere I don't belong. I don't belong here. I belong out there. Jumping off the trains. Fighting to protect us. I can't be a lawyer, or a judge or any of those things.

"Dauntless."

My mother gasps and sister drops her glass. My father doesn't react.

"Wh-hat?" gasps my mother again. "That's absurd!"

"Is it?" I ask, beginging to become defensive. "Whenever I've told you I was going out, where did you assume I was?"

"With your Candor friends, of course," she says.

"Wrong. I don't have any friends in Candor."

"Then where the hell were you, young lady?!" my mother screeches. My father still doesn't say anything.

"I was training." I take a step forward. "I was teaching myself how to throw knives; I was running and building strength."

"So you've been lying to us this whole time?!" my sister accuses.

"No!" I yell. "I'm not a liar! I told you I was going out and that's exactly where I went!"

"You're not fit for Candor anyway," my sister spits, standing up. She walks towards the door but stops in front of me. "Why would you stay somewhere you don't belong?" As she walks past, she barges my shoulder, but I keep my feet firmly on the ground.

I can't stop the tears that have pooled in my eyes. My mother stands up, straightening her white skirt and keeping a stiff upper lip.

"Mum," I plead.

"Do not call me that," she takes a deep breath, composing herself and then looks me in the eye. "You are not my daughter." And yet her tongue goes to the right corner of her mouth. What does she want? Does she want me to stay? But I'll never know, because she leaves in the same fashion Siân did.

Only my father is left. He sits, looking at me as I cry. Then he stands and I can't take it. I can't have my whole family walk out on me. I just can't.

I move to block the door but he doesn't step forward. He simply looks at me.

"I knew, you know?" I look at him in shock. He nods, looking at his feet. "I was driving home late from work, passed the old warehouse. Saw you climbing." I try and determine what emotion is crossing his face but it's like he has a mask on. I can't read him.

He sighs. "I followed you, the next time you said you were going out." I open my mouth but he puts up a hand. "I know it was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, but I had to make sure it was you. I watched you pull out some of your mother's kitchen knives and start throwing them at a piece of cardboard."

He lets out a small chuckle. "I remember thinking, 'God, if her mother finds out she blunted those knives it'll be hell at home'." He steps forward, puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. "Not once did I think that you're not my daughter because you don't belong where we do. I can understand your mother is upset, but she still loves you, Candor or not."

I look at this man. This man I call my father. And I realise how lucky I am. He raises his eyebrows and I know the conversation is over. But I can't let him have the last word. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

"I'm not a liar, Dad."

_I'm Divergent._


End file.
